i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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