We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
