Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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