Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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