you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
