Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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