Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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