OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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