it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
