you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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