What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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