All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
