you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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