if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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