jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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