Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
