He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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