Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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