ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
