Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I want to have your abortion
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Randomize
