Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
