they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She said her name was "party"
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize