found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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