How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Screwed.edu
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
