I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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