I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
