My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
