Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
