It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
