Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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