just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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