if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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