I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
In America we eat man semen.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
