ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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