: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I forget how to act sober
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
