This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
