Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
