I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
