Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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