why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
