i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
