I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
