well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
