Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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