its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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