Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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