every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
