honey bunches of taint.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Boobs speak an international language.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize