I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
