what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
