I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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