OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
