just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
