we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
This is classic penis vs brain.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
