The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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