We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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