The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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