i really wish james franco would like my vagina
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
