So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
