I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
