its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
