hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
