bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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