I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize