Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
