We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Mom said you looked used
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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