Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Please don't give away my fajitas
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
