I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
