she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
