I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We had to coat check the pizza.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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